I sit here along the shores of Carolina Beach, listening to the lap of the tides against the sand, watching the storm clouds roll in. Looking for salvation of some kind, praying that mother sea and father rain would wash me clean. I'm broken. The pain so deep I often think will it ever end? Does it ever leave? There's no happiness, I find it so difficult to laugh with genuine mirth. The heavy burden of sadness weighs me down.
I ask myself what's wrong with me? There are moments when I don't cry, when I'm okay. Then out of the blue I just can't contain the flow of salty tears. It's so difficult to stop thinking. Stop the memories. I feel like I've been through the ringer. Every instance so different yet the outcome still the same. What have I done?
The storm clouds on the horizon reminds me of your eyes. Feeling the waves against my legs remind me of your touch. I miss you. I miss your voice, I miss your laugh. I miss feeling whole. When will it ever end? When will I stop loving you?
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